The influence of Place-of-Origin in marriage in Igboland -way forward
It is no longer news that place of origin is now a very important determinant factor in marriages in Igbo land and environs. Well, I am writing because I am an Igbo man, so I cannot vouch for other tribes.
My people for “how long shall we continue in sin that grace may abound?” For how long shall we allow the medieval ideologies of 18th century still determine the status of the very most important institution in our time – marriage.
History has fed us with so many negativities concerning marriage that if time is not taken we will become our own enemies without knowing it. Am I still speaking parables? Don’t worry, let me go direct to the point.
- It is not every Imo girl na-agba n’iro (sleeps outside)
- Not every Mbaise person bü agwo (that is a snake)
- Not every IMO guy na-akpu oke sense (that is too clever)
- It is not every Anambra man bü onye ogwu ego (that is a ritualist)
- It is not every Anambra woman na-adominate their husband (that dominates their husband)
- Not every Enugu/nsukka girl that is primitive
- Not all Enugu men are lazy
- It is not every Aba/Ngwa girl na-eri anu mmadu (that eats human flesh)
- It is not every Abia man (??)
- All Abakaliki/Ebonyi people are not primitive
- Not all every Akwaibom/Calabar girl na-agba n’iro (sleeps outside)
- It is not every Rivers/Delta person (??)
- All Edo people are not witches/wizards
Regrettably, all these factors which we hold so tenaciously are environmentally induced. How do you expect an IMO girl born and brougt up in Enugu to behave like your supposedly Imo-like? There is no way an Abakaliki man born and brought up in Anambra will act like the supposed Abakaliki man. And so on and so forth…These things are modifiable, and are not genetic. Character can be built and is very amenable to change. If you want that Anambra girl to behave like your supposed Enugu girl, you can do it. If you want Aba girl to act like your choice Anambra girl, you can do it. These features are very incontrovertibly malleable, and I can prove that beyond every conceivable doubt for anyone that wishes to.
Apart from the love you have for yourselves (which I am not here to talk about), What should be our primary concern are genetic factors that are non-modifiable. Things like genetic diseases like cancer, sickle cell disease, etc. These ones are even becoming modifiable with advances in medicine and health care.
Please, ladies and gentle men, let us remove these deleterious attributes from our marriage curriculum before it wrecks greater havoc in our hard-earned existence. Do not say it does not concern you, it does. I may not remember your state or your town, but the truth is every town/state in Nigeria has one or more of these stereotyped beliefs hanging on their neck.
He that lives in a glass house, should not throw stones.
Ka emesianu…Please what are your views, drop your comments below.